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Self-sabotage: get the funk out of your trunk
I’ve spoken with so many people about this topic, and guess what I found out? Many business owners/entrepreneurs simply don’t want to talk about it! Why is that? I think a lot of self-sabotage is rooted in fear. For me, when I don’t see a way out, I tend to retreat into myself and not do the things I need to do.
I know exactly when I’m guilty of self-sabotage. When it happens … I move away from income-producing activities. I can tell when Heidi’s doing it, because I call her and she’s cleaning, doing errands or grocery shopping when she should be working. Larry focuses on filler work that’s not income producing. You’ve heard our confessions, and now it’s time for you to ‘fess up too.
It’s likely, at one time or another, that you are just as guilty of self-sabotage. There’s no easy way to define it, because it may vary depending on your kind of business. For me, it’s any time period when I am not doing income-producing activities. I notice a change in my own attitude, because I’m quieter and more into myself, and that’s not what it takes to get clients when you’re a business coach. So, stopping or delaying doing an activity that is income producing is self-sabotage.
However, this is how it may work for you. If you are attending networking events to get clients and you’re not following up, hanging out in the corner and not circulating or not going to events after one try, these are some sure signs of self-sabotage. It’s like Larry said, “you don’t send out a direct mailer or do a radio show once or twice” and expect it have the same impact as a more intensive campaign.
Now, Larry gets mired in paperwork pushing when his attitude is low – he gets all caught up in the fear thing. Heidi gets into a funk and starts cleaning, and that bothers me a lot, because why can’t she ever be at my house when her funk clunks? Let me tell you, this is wildly unfair. But for Larry, Heidi and me, we all recognize a physical reaction when we’re starting to slide.
It’s important to note that men and women have different approaches to self-sabotage. Heidi and I both need to know why and move forward from there. But Larry is less interested in the why and more into how to change it. I like what Heidi’s husband says, “just tell me what time it is … don’t build me a watch.”
Whether you want to know the why or not, here are some questions that will get you on track to recognize it, feel it and get going again.
1. Recognize it – ask yourself these questions to identify what triggers your funk
- What are you doing that’s different?
- Are you doing work that could be done at another time?
- Are you doing income-producing activities?
- Are you pushing something off until it’s overwhelming?
- Are you doing income-producing activities?
- Are you networking incorrectly and inconsistently?
- Do you find that you are a guru jumper – going from one self-help trend to another?
2. Feel it – if you don’t learn to feel it, you can’t move past it
- Do you notice where you feel it? Is it a tightness in your ears, stomach or chest area? Note how you feel it, when it happens.
- Do you become quieter?
- How long does it last?
- Feel it.
Think about this. Let’s say you’re not feeling so great on the day of a networking event. So you put on a happy face and push yourself to get out there. There, you focus on the people you’re meeting. By the end of that meeting, will that smile on your face still be a little forced? Try it and find out.
3. Get over it and back into it – get motivated by getting active – we need people
- Got to activities and be around people who will motivate you to get involved.
- Balance filler work with income-producing activities.
- Try to do all busy work – paperwork, computer research, filing, taking notes – in the early morning or in the evening.
- Take a walk or exercise – schedule something into your daily activities – make a commitment to you. Think about your day and your plans while you’re walking or running or cycling.
- Reward yourself – maybe you used to get into a funk for seven days and now it’s only two. Celebrate it.
- Make yourself accountable to other people too: if I say that I’m going to do this, and I say it to you or both of you, my level of commitment is a lot higher. I’m going to follow through with what I told you.
- Get an accountability partner.
- People interactions should be during the day when people are available.
- Smile and get out there and network.
- Stay focused – there are times when you need to look at the opportunities before you and make a decision on which way to go.
I could add a step 4 to the first three, but I’m afraid the importance would be missed. And my message is this: you must stop focusing on what’s wrong, and focus on what’s right – this is just as important as the three steps above. Flip your funk by taking those negative situations, moods and attitudes and turning them around. Take a walk if you need to or a break from whatever has you stuck. Take time to remind yourself of what’s right and what you do well. Do all these things, and you will have succeeded in getting the funk out of your trunk.
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, call me to schedule a complimentary business assessment today. I’ll talk to you next week at the Coached by Susan Radio Show.
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